I have been on my farm for about five years, give or take. I live outside a small town in rural Tennessee. I didn’t know anyone when I moved here. The closest neighbor is about half a mile away, and the rest are many miles down the road. If you are planning on moving from the suburbs or cities to the countryside, you might glean something from my experiences. I hope this helps.
The first neighbor I met was an older widow, and the circumstances weren’t great. My big dogs (German Shepherds) had a habit of escaping the property and racing around the countryside before I got a good gate in place and remote controlled e-collars around their necks. I would race after them in the car because they were fast and the roads were long and winding. She was absolutely terrified of them when they arrived in her yard. I quickly retrieved them and gave her my phone number. I apologized and promised to fix the problem as soon as possible.
When I got another set of dogs, livestock guardian dogs, who could circumvent any fence and gate, I went through the same routine: go get the dogs, apologize, and promise her I would fix the problem. In that instance, I had to have underground electrical fencing put down around the entire property, and put those dogs on e-collars. That was very effective. Once she saw that I kept my word, she would greet me and chat a little when I drove down to the road to pick up my mail.
Lessons: Be responsive, responsible, and keep your word. Good fences make good neighbors.
The next person I met was a young man advertising mowing and landscaping services. He was a Christian, very hard-working, and not afraid to do anything. He has worked for me since I moved here. He is a born and bred country boy, just starting out, newly married, not afraid of work, and eager to earn a living. His extended family run cattle, but he did not own any himself. He had learned to handle cattle by helping his family out, which was great news for me once I started with cattle. He was eager to get started on all things farming. Every time I brought new animals to the farm, and when I needed help with fencing or any kind of farm maintenance, I called him. He was interested in my animal adventures. I gave him some of my laying hens when I had too many, which was the beginning of his own flock of chickens. He later added ducks to his flock. When I got goats, he got into goats. When a calf was born here, he didn’t mind banding the bull calves for me.
Since his work is primarily in the Spring and Summer, he was readily available in the late Fall and during the Winter, so I would save a Fix-it List for him for those times when he had spare time and needed the money. He was pretty handy, so he could do handyman work in and on the farmhouse. When my barn flooded, he was the guy who graded around the barn to prevent more flooding, and dumped 15 tons of crushed rock into the barn and spread it out, for a fraction of the cost that a commercial company would charge. He built the hen house and fencing, a large dog house, and more fencing. He built the raised garden beds and helped fill them with compost. He built the milking stanchion for me. He didn’t always do things perfectly, but as the years have gone on, he’s gotten better at everything. He is the age of my grandsons, so I think of him that way.
His hourly charge hasn’t changed much, and he has invested in a lot of equipment that has enabled his business to grow. I would often tip him more than he asked for. He is fairly busy most of the year now – good for him! Earlier this year, I invested in a used trailer to haul my cattle with. Previously, when I needed someone to haul cattle I would ask him, but he was borrowing a friend’s trailer to do that. He just borrowed my trailer, because now I can loan him a trailer whenever he needs it. The trailer is old, but it works. If something happened to the trailer while he is using it, it won’t be a big deal for me. Besides, I trust this young man as much as I trust my own family. When his father was diagnosed with cancer, I helped their family. When my dog had to be put down, he and his father put my dog down, and buried it.
I have had other workers out to the farm, but none as hardworking and honest as this young man and his family with one exception. I hired a neighbor’s young son as a farm hand. That boy, who was 15 when I hired him, is now 18. He says he loves his job and he certainly makes more than at a fast food job. He is a really good hunter and has gifted me venison a couple of times. There are a few workers that I would never let step foot on my property again, so I feel very fortunate to have found these two young men. They have made a few costly mistakes, but those were due to my ignorance, and their inexperience. And that’s okay.
Lessons: Hire local people when you need work done. If you need help, keep an eye out for an honest and hardworking person, and treat them like gold. It will come back to you tenfold. Let them fail at a few things and don’t be bothered by it. The right person will learn and get better.
When I got to the point that I had dairy cows, and had learned the ropes, I opened a herd share. In my state, Tennessee, it is legal to “sell” raw milk in one of two ways: as “pet milk” not for human consumption, or via a herd share contract with the customer. The herd share contract does a number of things, but its goal is to allow others to buy into the care and feeding of the milk cows in exchange for milk. A2A2 raw milk is very much in demand and I had no problems filling my herd share with interested people, as well as a long waitlist. I do not have a herd share now, simply because my health failed this year, and managing a dairy business is very physically demanding.
But t was not a wasted endeavor. I met a lot of like-minded local people who would drop by the farm every week for the good, fresh, milk. And of that group of people, I came to know several neighbors very well, and one in particular has become a good friend. That one friendship was worth every bit of the work that the dairy required. When I was in the hospital, two of those neighbors took turns milking my cows, and even milked them while I recovered at home. Priceless. And one of those milkmaids was the person I sent my customer list to because she had her own cows to milk. I still refer potential customers to her.
Lessons: After doing your “area study”, start a local business that is in demand so as not to take business away from the Locals. Never, ever, decide to undercut a Local business. Be fair in your pricing, deliver on your promise, and don’t be in a hurry. Trust is hard earned in the rural countryside.
When I moved here, one of the first people I met, again under the uncomfortable circumstance of chasing down my German Shepherds, I met a gruff man driving a big truck. He stopped because he had seen my dogs and could tell I was looking for them because I had their leashes in hand. He asked if I was looking for the dogs and when I said yes, he took off in his truck to go track them down for me. He came back fairly quickly and said, “Ma’am, you got some smart dogs. They won’t get in my truck.” I burst out laughing and he offered to drive me to the dogs. I was a bit nervous, but I got in his truck and we got the dogs back to the property in short order.
I thanked him and he asked me where I was from and if I was new here, and then stunned me with a question I didn’t expect, “You aren’t one of them Liberals are ya?” I laughed and said, “Far from it”. He warned me that there had been some break-ins in the area. In reply, I asked him what the gun laws were, which was my turn to startle him. He said that in the state of Tennessee, there is no duty to retreat, the castle doctrine, open carry, no registration required (except new gun purchases require a background check), etc. If your property is fenced and posted with either No Trespassing signs or if you paint the top of your boundary posts with purple paint, you are well within your rights to defend life, property, and livestock. I thanked him again. And that was it. “Have a good day Ma’am. He went on his way, and I on mine. I have not had a single trespasser of the human variety. I surmised that word got around to whoever the problematic persons were.
Not to say there is zero crime in these here parts, but I have only once seen an out of place vehicle on this country road. A neighbor came up my driveway on his tractor and cautioned me to close my gates, so I did. Then he followed the strange vehicle and got them turned around and on their way out. He was very calm, didn’t get overly excited, but I think he gave the men the directions they were seeking, which led them, probably, to the next town. He drove back up my driveway to discuss it with me, and said, “Those boys don’t belong out here in the country. They have no business out here. You call me if you need me.” As it turns out, the man on the tractor turned out to be my new friend’s husband. Nice!
I have a tendency to “give the coat off my back”, which could be considered a fault. It certainly was considered a fault in the corporate world where I learned that most people are in it for themselves only. Out here in the country, I found that almost everyone I met was willing to give the coat off their backs too. Honesty. Direct conversations without an agenda. Wow. What a concept! You could ask a question and get an honest answer. The caveat being that you had to build trust first over a period of time. The best way to earn trust is to speak plainly, be kind, polite, and honest. And also, to not be the first person to share your opinion. Listen, always listen. Country folk don’t necessarily care about your big city experiences, degrees, achievements, or your opinions, and if you are rude and demanding, you just quietly get blacklisted.
Lessons: The neighbors are curious and most of them really don’t want the Liberal refugees moving in. So, don’t be a Liberal refugee without knowing how to adapt and honor the culture you are moving in to. They really just want to know if you are a good person they can be good neighbors with. It’s really that simple.
In summary, the lessons I learned were:
- Good fences make for good neighbors.
- Be that good neighbor by being responsive, responsible, and keep your word.
- Hire local; find that one or two hardworking persons and treat them like gold.
- Start a home business that does not undercut or threaten the Locals.
- Honor the culture and people where you decide to live, knowing you must earn trust.
- Realize that you are now on country time, not city time, so slow down and listen.
I have learned so much since I came to the farm. I have met the kindest people. I sometimes think I could never leave this place because there’s no pressure except that which I put on myself. I don’t have to worry about keeping up with the Joneses, or impressing anyone. I can be my authentic self. The dress code in the country is mostly “working farm” attire – worn jeans, a torn shirt, muck on your boots, and hay in your hair (except on Sundays). For me, it’s been a very nice change of pace, and I can say that I fit in here.
Read the full article here