(Continued from Part 6. This concludes the article.)
Evaluating Families to Find Like-Minded People
Daily, I am reminded of how bad it is out there, based on the information that I am analyzing. People often ask me “How long do we have?” If you understand history, economics, threat analysis, and have three generations of preparedness expertise in your wheelhouse, then you know the lateness of the hour. As for my situation, I hope it is long enough to be able to get married and to get the supplies my future spouse and her family need. I have a lot of supplies set aside for my future spouse and her family. The future will be difficult no matter your level of preparation, but it will be even more difficult if you do not wisely choose who will be under your roof.
Benjamin Franklin’s thoughts on marriage are very relevant over 250 years later: “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half shut afterward.” Now, it is the time to evaluate people both if you wish to add people through marriage to your family or to your preparedness group.
A man reading this may someday encounter the father of a young woman. I have corresponded with many men from the nice to the not so nice. It is memorable to get a message with someone trying to rip me up, usually starting with “as the father of a precious daughter, I find your questions to be insulting.” People who can’t answer very basic questions about health or values many times do not have good answers if they finally got around to just answering basic questions. A man needs to ask lots of questions to get down to the core of who a woman is and what her family is about.
There are also so many problem young women and their families where men can get burned. A man really needs to take a hard look at a young woman and her family. So many families throw up smokescreens to disguise who they are instead of just admitting the truth and see if you can accept it. It is very important to determine if there are temporary issues like a moral issue where someone made a mistake and has repented or ongoing long-term issues.
If someday you want to be among those who live full-time on farms and retreats, this usually involves the principle of land ownership. If you are able to achieve a goal of land ownership and you are someday in a position to look for land, you may need to ask lots of probing and what some may term “insulting” questions. You need to learn how to read people. This takes a lot of experience usually either gained the hard way by making mistakes or the easy way by being mentored by strong men. One of the worst-case scenarios for a piece of land or a home is that you overpaid, it has problems and you need to dump it. It is similar with animals: if you are not a careful judge, you can get stuck with a problem animal. Unless the animal really does some damage, you can usually “ground beef” it without too much headache other than a loss of money which you can consider tuition. I advocate a Biblical pattern of marriage for life, so a spouse is something where one has to be extremely careful. It is great when people tell the truth because you can avoid those problems by carefully observing the “Danger” signs instead of “falling rocks” it is a variety of problems from health to mental that are usually found or revealed.
A man needs to be prepared to ask pointed questions of a woman and her family. As a man, you are in control of the direction of the conversation. This is the time to figure out by asking questions if the woman is being raised to be a Biblical helpmeet or someone who will put you through hell and be a hindrance to you. I have met a lot of men who got bamboozled by a pretty face and are now paying for it in alimony, child support, and having other men raise their kids. People usually tell you who they are almost immediately if you listen and observe closely. Some families try to hide who they are through a lot of flowery language and foolishness, but once you recognize by seeing it once or twice you can easily determine they are likely hiding some serious issues. Some people are just plain embarrassed, but it is better to own up to what they are about and then you can see if you can accept their issues. You will never likely find perfect, but “good” enough is often perfect for you as it would be for me.
For some reason, our current culture has this completely backwards with thinking that the man is in the weaker position, begging for a young woman. In reality, the man is in complete control because traditionally he will be the one providing for the new family. It can not be emphasized enough: You are in effect hiring a homemaker who will hopefully be the mother of your children, so you need to examine carefully as she could make or break your family tree.
Men need to learn how to correctly assert authority. Our culture has really knocked authority out of men. Men need to learn how to be comfortable with actually leading, questioning, and knowing how to correctly channel emotions. Your wife will not be your boss and your father-in-law will not likely be your boss either, but hopefully he is a wise older man. A wife will be a junior partner who after many years or in certain circumstances may need to act in your place, but you must carefully appraise a partner to determine if she is ready to begin the journey.
A young woman’s father needs to not be emotional and be able to answer questions about the young woman and how he leads or does not lead his family. A young woman is not likely something precious or rare. Remember from the earlier discussion when most people think they are “above-average” when that is statistically impossible. If you talk to enough people, you will find many patterns that emerge and rarely find a new classification place to your sorting boxes. A girl being born is very common occurrence in slightly less than half of all births. It is very unfortunate when I hear about men who are disappointed that they have a daughter in “gender reveal” parties. A girl can be a good or a bad addition to your family largely depending on how she is raised. A lot of her success in life depends on the father’s attitude. If the father has the right attitude, then the daughter usually has one. Usually, the father’s leadership or lack of it, leads to where the family is and will be going.
When you marry into a family, you marry the whole family. A man can come from humble surroundings, make his own way, and never look back. Many women are constantly looking back to the past and looking to other people for affirmation, especially other women. My mother is an exception because she was taught by her father, a combat veteran, to think for herself, but that is very rare. Most of these usual differences are imprinted deep in our historical DNA: At one time, men hunted in very small parties and women acted in larger cooperative ways trying to avoid being thrown out of their group. Men needed to be daring in order to bring back meat from large beasts that probably were very angry at being stuck by a flint spear and women were more successful at managing multiple friendships in their community.
One of the problems is how many families are raising boys especially how so many are told through the school system or through contemporary thought on how boys should act. Boys are not immature girls needing medication to be more girl-like or to start acting like girls. Boys are different than girls no matter how many woke pediatricians tell you that there are not differences between them. It is important to teach boys manners, but they are not little girls who will likely be happy sitting quiet and doing needlepoint or quilting. There is a time and a place for almost everything, but boys need lots of activities, some structure, and a lot of room to grow.
If you find an acceptable young woman, she and her family should be receptive to questions about her qualifications and skills. In colonial America to the 19th century, girls in America often made a visual sampler which often included a key Bible verse, saying, or a pictorial representation of things that were important to her conveyed through embroidery. I have seen many samplers in person, since one of my hobbies is to study of how people lived in the past. Today a man can ask for an explanation of a young woman’s hobbies and homemaking skills. It is unlikely you will find a young woman trained in being a homemaker, but you should at least look for someone who wants to learn some basic skills such as cooking and light housekeeping as this will be useful if you wish to have a stay-at-home spouse.
Think of this idea of examining a woman’s qualifications as if you were sorting through resumes of a potential partner in your successful business or practice. They will initially be brought on as a junior partner and not in control of everything except in your absence. In this world, you could potentially get called off to war very easily by being drafted. Over the past year, I have heard talk about a military draft. The “world” is always looking for a way to get rid of young men and the meat grinder of modern warfare is much more effective than convincing men (especially high testosterone men) to remove themselves from the reproductive pool through the castration theatre of transgenderism.
A Modern Problem
In the years to come as there are number of people who have “transitioned” so if you want to marry a biological female, you may need to start asking for proof of “girlhood” from birth certificates to pictures and videos to make sure that John did not become Jane. Deceit is nothing new: One of the precipitating causes of the Glorious Revolution of 1688 was a scandal where a stillborn was said to have been swapped with another boy heir in a warming pan although there is no evidence that this happened and 70 witnesses said it did not. From the Glorious Revolution to 1936, a senior member of Parliament such as the Home Secretary or another royal official would attend royal births to make sure that they were legitimate and an imposter was not inserted into the line of succession. For instance, Queen Elizabeth II was the last reigning monarch whose birth in 1926 was witnessed. By the time she gave birth to Charles, the current King, the tradition was abandoned.
For a traditional man, it will be a road full of frustration, but do not give up. Do not give into immorality of any sort. Avoid all forms of temptation. Submerge yourself in the Word. Some individuals reading this could be like me who can trace their ancestry back to past heroes including Crusader knights and princes. Instead of fighting infidels on a distant shore, you are fighting a different, but equally difficult battle.
Do not get frustrated with the amount of time it could take to find your bride. It could take years or even decades. It is just like preparedness except that you will most likely grow spiritually and mentally stronger and wealthier over time. A lot of preparedness-related items have a life expectancy, need to be rotated, or become obsolete to less effective as newer technologies emerge such as with flashlights such as the progression points from kerosene lamps to LED lamps. Time is very different to a man than a woman. A young woman likely has an extremely finite amount of time, but you likely have years. Think of the difference between women and men as ice sculptures versus wheels of waxed cheese. Ice melts in most climates and cheese often increases in value with age.
Consider the cases of two actors who were both fathers in their 60s and mid 70s. Tony Randall was at one time a widower with no children who was previously married for 54 years and he remarried at age 75 and had two children with a woman 50 years younger than him. Chuck Norris had more children in his 60s with his second wife who was 23 years younger and a former model. My family and I know and have known several more men who had children in their 60s, 70s, and beyond. One common thread of those men was resources. In today’s world, charm can be something, money is usually worth more, and in the world of the future, a hot meal and the security of a homestead might be enough.
I encourage men to think of themselves as miners both of the Word and of people. You must outfit yourself for this journey through spiritually armoring yourself and through physical preparedness. Miners in the Old West outfitted themselves a variety of provisions including picks and sorting mechanisms such as boxes. Instead of hitting rocks and panning for gold using a sluice box, a man today will most likely have to meet and sort through many people to determine if they are telling the truth. This is not an easy process. A man today will have many disappointments including false leads which are pyrite (fool’s gold) which fool some people. When a man has seen or held gold, he can often recognize it by sight. It is my firm belief that somewhere out there is a vein of gold in the form of marriageable young women who are healthy and seek to be mothers. The children born of these marriages will form the cornerstone in the renewal of our country.
Conclusion
I hope that this seven-part study in my thought experiment of “Preparing Future Generations for an Uncertain Future” has been valuable to you and that you have been able to pass it on to other interested families. My family remains positive that a possibility exists of turning our culture around if we can reach a critical mass of enough people in the form of future generations with the right values. As time goes by, it is getting increasingly difficult. What could have been accomplished with ease not that long ago is more difficult by the day. The changes and collapse of Western Civilization are impacting families, so that will most likely be the subject of my next article to focus in highlighting why and how the collapse is occurring through various institutions and practical steps families can take.
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