Beware Of What You Wear

Armed Robbery Rules

Some simple rules for armed robbers:

1) Never try to pay your bail with stolen loot

2) Never wear stuff you’ve stolen to court

3) If you do, at least don’t wear stolen stuff to court when you’re appearing on the case in which you stole that particular stuff.

Charles Taylor dropped two out of three points on this little test, showing up for trial wearing a pair of tan hiking boots. He was charged with robbing a shoe store, getting away with $69 and a pair of tan hiking boots. As a store clerk ID’d him as the suspect and described the loss, Judge James Fleetwood couldn’t help checking out Taylor’s footwear.

“I leaned over and stared,” said His Honor. “I said, ‘Surely nobody would be so stupid as to wear the boots he stole to his trial.’”

We can only guess the judge is unfamiliar with the Immutable Cosmic Law of Idiocy that says: “The instant you say, ‘Nobody would be so stupid as to …’ 13 people will do it.”

Court officials called the store and confirmed the stolen boots were size 10 1/2 from Lot No. 1046 — a perfect match for Taylor’s tan boots.

The bailiff confiscated the boots after the jury came back with a guilty verdict. And, gee whiz, it only took an hour of deliberation!