The Anniversary Time Capsule

The Predictions

Future Guns — Firearms of the future will undoubtedly be based on some type of electronic technology, lasers or some other heretofore undiscovered directed energy transfer method. These guns will be 100% effective, selectable as to the desired terminal effects, clean, inexpensive, easy to use and completely restricted to government-only use after the 2034 election.

Meanwhile, those of us clinging to our guns and Bibles will continue clinging. Remington Arms will have been sold another 153 times and end up being owned by Apple. Springfield Armory will have set a record by unveiling 116,000 different firearms models in a single year while S&W will still have the ugly lock on the side of their revolvers. Sometime around 2035, I predict Ruger will buy Microsoft.

Rifles will commonly weigh under 2 lbs. and shoot .25 MOA out of the box, while handguns will come from the manufacturer equipped with an incredible array of high-tech accessories, government-mandated safeties and a suppressor. The average CCW pistol will tip the scales at around 7 lbs. and have an OAL of approximately 24″.

Future Ammunition — Assuming we’re still using actual bullets and powder, ammunition choices will continue to proliferate in extremis. Exotic materials and new technology will make it even more difficult to choose the best load:

“Hmmmm, lemme see. The deer I’m hunting, codenamed Alpha-1.5T-ECHO, weighs between 180 and 202 lbs. and favors his front left hoof according to my trail cam drone advanced sensor payload. The A.I. hunting prediction computer says I should get a 214-yard shot at him quartering away next Tuesday around sunset. For nostalgia, I’ll go with one of my grandad’s ancient Model 70s in .30-06. I could pick up a box of the Winchester UltraNuke Depleted Uranium 8,000-grainers or maybe the Federal (‘Brought to you by TikTok’) Radar-Intercept Sabot 50-grain directed-energy plasma bullet …”

Likewise, developments in shotgun cartridges mean the .410 eventually will be considered a “big bore” to be used exclusively for things like bear defense, while new guns such as the ultra-lightweight Ithaca .25-caliber side-by-side shotgun will be the most popular choice for upland hunters.

There will also be the continued unrestrained development of new rifle and pistol cartridges. For example, long-range shooters will someday work themselves into a froth on the internet while engaged in endless arguments as to which Creedmoor cartridge is the best for long-range shots — the original iconic 6.5 Creed, the new and improved 6.6 Creedmoor, the revolutionary 6.65 Creedmoor, the game-changing 6.67 Creedmoor or the tack-driving 6.705 Creedmoor. Wildcatters will further experiment with cartridges in between these factory loadings. Berger (owned by Elon Musk) will announce Very Very Very Very Really Freakin’ Low Drag (VVVVRFLD) bullets with a G7 Ballistic Coefficient approaching 8×10 (-2). These have been known to speed up in flight during times of high sunspot activity.

Optics — Every gun in the future will come with some type of optic installed and most will have video recording capability. In fact, in the future it will be nearly impossible to buy a gun, automobile, refrigerator or pair of shoes that isn’t equipped with a red dot optic (and it goes without saying — a Picatinny rail).
In the future, the quality of the video recording made by the optic or weapon itself will be a key purchase decision. The better firearms optics will not only calculate windage, elevation and spindrift but overlay weather radar, pick up local television broadcasts, have a full-featured internet browser and receive 400 different pornography channels. Some will even make Julienne fries for that post-hunt cookout.

Gun Magazines — I’m not talking about how you feed your gun, I’m talking about this thing in your hand made of dead trees that feeds your mind. As I’ve said countless times, I’m bullish on the magazine format so I believe they’ll still be around in some form, just as there are still steam locomotives and paddlewheel riverboats. Granted, most of those are abandoned and rusting away somewhere but there are a few working examples.

Of course, the content of shooting magazines will change over time since young people no longer want to write about guns anymore. The gun magazine of the future will likely just reprint press releases from manufacturers mixed with other articles focusing on makeup tips and beard grooming for a YouTube Channel or podcast appearances. As everyone in the future will have their own “platform” and “Brand” regardless if they have anything important or factual to say, looking good will be far more valuable and respected than actual wisdom or facts.

Hmmmm, that sounds familiar.

So, I guess what I’m saying is — we’ve already seen the future.

And, frankly, I’m not impressed. That’s why I’m making plans to hitch a ride into the sunset on the next passing steamboat. Good luck in 2055!

Subscribe To GUNS Magazine